As that we’re in the final stretch of 2021, I wanted to give an update on our group travel plans. The short answer is ‘there are no plans.’
Travel Challenges
COVID-19 has again grounded the best-laid travel plans for FORK. Just like last year, international travel is very limited. A significant portion of you, our valued members, have expressed concerns with travel as well. As a result, I’ve moved my focus to plan for 2022 and beyond.
Travel planning for this group has become increasingly difficult as our numbers continue to grow. Some of our younger, more progressive members have been pushing for more eco-friendly travel with a ‘build back better’ philosophy.
The progressives have several suggestions on the table that we travel to economically challenged places and spend our vacation building a casino or something. However, even with their suggested eco-travel plans trimmed down, these trips are extravagant and will have to be paid for by future FORK generations.
Then we have the wacko right-wing element being just as radical. I really have to ask, ‘why would we want to spend a week in Texas or Arizona building a wall?’ I mean, really? And those “MFGA” hats really creep me out.
Jolly Ole England
The bulk of our group is much more mainstream. You’re looking for good roads, nice hotels, working toilets and a pool or a beach. I get it. Take London for example. That was a great trip.
Well, it was great up until those last two days. Julia and Rick were focused on those crumpets and marmalade, so I left them at the hotel. In hindsight, I suppose that I should have had Julia come with me. Regardless, that’s how Diana ended up downtown with me on that fateful day.
Things were going well. We were just about finished with business when Diana decided to tell the story of when Neal and Hal visited London back in the 1970s. When she was done, there was an awkward moment of silence. Then the guy from Scotland Yard asked, “That was your husband?”
I’d told Diana not to talk or say anything at all. We just needed to get Karyn and Joanne bailed out, and put them on the next plane out of the country. But no, she had to tell the story. As I said, I should have brought Julia. Then again, Julia has some history of her own as well.
Bali – Not the Musical
I recall the trip to Bali in the late 1990s. There I was, totally relaxed. The scent of gardenias hung in the air. My mind wandered as I was in the middle of a hot-rock massage… Suddenly, I was interrupted (and embarrassed) as Karyn comes barging in. All I have on is a stack of hot rocks on my back. I grab a towel as she starts babbling about the rest of the crew getting dragged off by soldiers! What the heck?!?
We grabbed the first rickshaw taxi we could and headed to the military checkpoint. Sure enough, there they were. Julia was wearing this long white sequined dress covered with mud up to her knees and a lone ranger mask.
Rick had a robe from the hotel, a bright scarf tied around his waist, and the robe belt tied around his head. He looked like Obi Wan Cannoli. 
To make a long story short, I talked the military into allowing me to take charge of the motley crew. In essence, the agreement was that I would immediately remove the group from the country and they’d call off their coup. At the airport, the soldiers bid us farewell while the foreign minister announced that we were all persona non-grata. It was a really nice ceremony.
The above examples illustrate the hurdles of finding places we’re allowed to travel moving forward. The fact that these are some of the more mundane adventures further highlights my challenges. I just wanted to let everyone know that in spite of the demands, I’m doing the best I can.
One last order of business. Julia asked me to let everyone know that the vote (by secret ballot) on allowing spouses on our adventure travels failed to pass 2 votes to 11. I don’t want to put anyone on the spot because I respect the sanctity of secret voting. However, someone will need to talk to the newlyweds – Meghan and Diana.